Squeamish stuff

As of today, Sunday, I spent all morning just sitting. I could not even download my e-mail. I felt chronically sick to the extent that I was forced to take medication when I hadn’t even done anything.

Comment 1: Is it the pain making you feel sick or, worrying more about your situation when you are in pain? i.e. Is it the pain or the worrying? If the latter then some form of anti-depressant might help stop the sickness. If the former, then get along to your GP and get referred to the INPUT pain clinic straight away. The only person I know who has felt sick as a result of pain, was in a lot of pain. (skip the next bit if you are squeemish!) He had his hand dragged into a block on the deck of a yacht by the rope he was holding onto – blood everywhere! (Well I did warn you!).

Comment 2: I am not a squeamish person. I have experienced immense pain before, but what I have now is something very different. Many years ago, I had an accident, which did several things including giving me a collapsed lung. I nearly died. I could feel myself drifting away, and after this experience, I was told by the medics, that I had been dying, but they brought me back from the brink. I felt no pain, as I was too ill to feel pain. I just remember an overwhelming desire to go to sleep, (like I had not slept for a month.) I then found myself in intensive care with a tube in my nose, one in my arm, and a half inch pipe going into my chest which was draining blood and tissue into a demijohn onto the floor. It was uncomfortable, but even then I wasn’t really in pain, except where all the missing flesh from elsewhere on my body was sticking to the bedclothes.

One day, I suddenly had an army of nurses/doctors charge to my bed with no notice, and they pulled the screen round. The majority of them pinned me down to the bed whilst one took a pair of scissors to my chest and with no anesthetic, they cut all the flesh away from the tube entering my body, so that they could pull it out. The pain was so terrible, I screamed, which was why they had planned their visit in that way and pinned me down. I was told afterwards, that they had to do it that way, as anesthetic could cause Pneumonia when in close proximity to the lungs, so it had to be done “the old way.”

It didn’t make me feel sick. I then had a lung infection, which followed this situation, and I could not move for the pain. Again, this did not make me feel sick. In later years, I guillotined the end of a finger off, and this didn’t make me feel sick… but, when the hospital tried to change the dressing, THAT did (whilst they were doing it), and I had to have that gas that women have when they’re having babies, and I do NOT like it at all! (My wife actually likes it!) I have been on anti-depressants for about 2 years or more, and the sickness I experience is a physiological problem and not a psychosomatic one. My arms feel like arms do when the “funny-bone” has been cracked on a doorframe, yet the feeling does not go away. It fluctuates, and sometimes is worse then sometimes better, but mentally I feel I cope with my situation quite well…considering.

The problems occur when I just try to live a normal life. If I sit and remain idle, the arms are not too painful. When used (not excessive typing) for things like personal hygiene, I experience snapping sounds coming from the tendons, and then the pain steps up. If I continue using them, the pain makes me feel sick, perhaps because the tendons are linked to the nerves in the arms. I know that if I touch my right thumb in the “wrong” place, it will send a “bolt of electricity” up my arm, in exactly the same way as would be experienced if you got 240volts from an electric socket. The thumb in question was the main point of abrasion in the repetitive job that I used to do.

A Physio I saw a long time ago, (in conversation) mentioned both De Quervains and also nerve damage, yet these things are not necessarily recorded in my notes, as my Physio perhaps did not always have the same opinions as the consultant? I personally feel that both the tendons and the nerves are badly damaged. When I was first injured, I had boney lumps in my hands which were caused by the excessive friction they had to endure at the time. These deposits dissolved eventually, but I am left with a permanent residue problem, that as I have said many times before, relates to normal varied movements.

The more normal, and more varied the tasks attempted, the worse it gets. This is where I’m different. I do not worry about my arms. I have had it far too long for that. It is just part of my life, and I cannot fight it. Fighting it would just make me stressed. I feel that acceptance is a better path, and with this attitude, it may give me greater hope for healing in the future. Yes, people who have similar problems will feel depressed. This has already been said many times. The main “fight” as I see it, is educating people to not associate the problem with psychosomatic circumstances, as this is always a “cop-out” for anything the medical profession or the general public doesn’t understand. I wonder if being psychosomatic was attributed years ago to those people who felt the world was round, when most people thought that it was flat? (My arms are working reasonably at the moment, with the usual use of highlighter pens as “fingers.”).

Comment 3: I hope and pray you have no more squamish stuff in your life!

Comment 4: I have to admit my first reaction was: what on earth are you doing going anywhere near your computer or needing to think of downloading your e-mail on a Sunday? Don’t you give yourself a complete break at least on a Sunday? Maybe this is why you felt sick. Your body/mind is telling you something. This is not a facetious suggestion. I think one’s body can go on revolt – RSI is often exactly that. My second reaction is that you should definitely be seeking a referral to Dr Charles Pither at the INPUT programme at St Thomas’ Hospital.

Comment 5: “I have to admit my first reaction was: what on earth are you doing going anywhere near your computer or needing to think of downloading your e-mail on a Sunday? Don’t you give yourself a complete break at least on a Sunday?” – A complete break from what? It was just an example. If I listed all the things I can’t do, this e-mail would be 10KB. “My second reaction is that you should definitely be seeking a referral to Dr Charles Pither at the INPUT programme at St Thomas’ Hospital”. – I have already referred this information to the people who now control my life.

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